Running from God

The Lord has helped me so much in my life. I spent along time running from God and the calling that he has for me. I was afraid to leave the world. I was afraid of losing my life. Jesus said, "he who saves his own life will surly lose it, and he who loses his life for my sake will save it." I had to start giving up the life that I knew. I had to stop drinking and hanging out in bars. I had to start reading the Bible and going to church. I always thought that doing these things would be hard. I thought that turning away from the life I had would be a hard thing to do. It really wasn't hard to give up at all. I realized one day that I had been doing things my way and not God's way. Doing things my way had only brought me pain and sorrow. Doing things my way made me a single father with 3 children and no help from either mother, one mother being deceased and the other just not around. I had so much pain and suffering in my life. I couldn't have healthy relationships because I didn't trust anyone. I was looking for joy in worldly things. After years of running and suffering, I met someone that I ended up caring for and loving deeply, deeper and truer than I had ever loved anyone. We started a relationship, became engaged, and everything was great and lovely. I still kept doing things my way, even that relationship went south. We split up and I was crushed on the inside. I tried not to let it show. I drank everyday and was miserable. I tried so hard to drink away the hurt and the pain. No matter how much I tried, I couldn't make it stop. Then she and I ended up getting back together. I was so happy, I had a permanent smile on my face. I still kept running and doing things my way. I still kept avoiding the call from God. The relationship went bad, really bad. I thought I had lost her for good. This was the worst hurt I have ever felt in my life, the worst pain I have ever suffered, unbearable and unexpected. I didn't know what I was going to do. I didn't think I could go on with life. I felt as if i had lost everything i had ever had in life. I felt alone in the world for the first time in my life. All I could do was get on my knees and pray. I prayed to God and told him that I was tired of doing things my way and that I submitted my life to him. Everything started to change after that. Now we are together again and are currently attending pre-marriage counseling with our pastor. I'm telling you, God is powerful and wonderful. He can change any life through his power and his might. He can straighten out the biggest messes that we, as human beings, get into. He knows how to bring you to your knees and how to draw you to him. I can tell you from experience, it's better to just go ahead and submit to God and save yourself a lot of trouble.  
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