The Consequences of Premarital Sex


The Consequences of Premarital Sex
Moral, Physical, and Spiritual
In today’s society, we have lost what once were core values in “right living” in the United States. Women were self respecting ladies that kept their sexual nature hidden from the rest of the world, only revealing that nature to her husband. Men treated these ladies as such by opening up doors, pulling out their chairs at restaurants, and walking them to the door of their home after a date. Society has changed into a sex-crazed and sex-driven culture; and the changes have brought societal side effects loaded with risks and consequences when indulging in today’s culture.
Moral Consequences
When you have multiple partners before marriage, it makes having a valuable relationship in marriage nearly impossible. God designed our bodies to subconsciously form a mental, physical, and spiritual bond with the person we have sex with. There is nothing we can do to stop this natural attachment that is formed during intercourse. God designed sex between a husband and wife to be the most intimate moment shared by two human beings. This is how we become one flesh. It is not because of what is taking place between our anatomic features, but it is what takes place between us emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually. Sex in marriage and with one lifetime partner brings about a feeling of ecstasy for both the male and female participants. It is something that should be thought of as being sacred. Your sexuality should be kept undiscovered, unlocked until you meet and then marry that special person that was made for you. If both of you have abstained prior to marriage, then you both bring something special to the table for one another, a special gift, that has not been shared with anyone else before. This gives both partners an opportunity to grow together. This will also prevent either of you from entering into marriage with unrealistic expectations for the other in the areas of intimacy and performance. You are afforded the opportunity to explore one another in a way that has never been done by anyone else before. Both of you get to plant upon unconsecrated soil.
Getting sexually involved before marriage also destroys your confidence. It may seem at first that it builds you up but when you are ready for a serious relationship and true love, it brings doubt and distrust. You feel like the person you love, and they may truly love you, is only interested in what you can do for them sexually. These feelings are harbored from acts of sexual engagement where there was no commitment. You have trained yourself to be okay with having casual sex; once you train your mind to think a certain way, it is challenging and painful to accept what is real. If you explore love, respect, character, compatibility, and commitment prior to engaging sexually, then confidence and trust will not be an issue. In today’s society, we have it backwards—we want to have the sexual experience first and then try to force the most important components of a relationship upon ourselves and our partners simply because we thought we had a great sexual experience. It is impossible to build a house and then go back and build the foundation under that house. You must build a solid foundation first and then the rest of the house will be solid too.
Premarital sex also comes with many labels. It is not just the young ladies that get tagged with these labels. Although the labels that sexually active young ladies are tagged with can be very cruel and harsh; young men also face the demoralizing harshness of labels given to sexually active young people. What makes this such a tragedy is the fact that you are at a very impressionable stage in life. You are laying the ground work for what will become your personality and character traits. So many young people carry this unnecessary baggage into adulthood. As teenagers and men and women in their early 20’s, you are creating and setting moral standards for yourself that will follow you for the rest of your lives. While you may think it is cool now, you will always walk in the shadow of the impressions and signals you are putting out in your early years. The people around you now, people you go to school with, go to church with, hang out with, these are the same people you will be interacting with and around for most of your lives. Impressions, especially first impressions, are everlasting. You are building your own futures right now!
Physical Consequences
There are also physical consequences that exist that can be related to having many sex partners and/or premarital sex. The greatest risk to a young man or young lady’s health is the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease (STD). According to myrel8.com, teenagers between the ages of 15-19 account for 50% of all STD cases in the United States. That is a staggering number. Half of all American teenagers are carriers of a sexually transmitted disease. That statistic itself ought to be enough reason to practice abstinence until marriage! There are several diseases floating around out there. There is Chlamydia, gonorrhea, HIV-the virus that causes AIDS, AIDS itself (in which there is no cure), and many others. These diseases are dangerous and deadly. They are accompanied by an entourage of side effects such as: a drip or discharge, itching and burning, rash, blisters, sores, warts, burning during urination, pain in the lower belly, bleeding, swelling, flu-like symptoms and many others. If you have been sexually active and have not experienced the above symptoms, do not think that you are out of the woods just yet. In many cases, these diseases lie dormant in the body with no symptoms. If you are or have been sexually active, with more than one partner, there is a chance that you could be infecting others, and others infecting you without knowing it. An STD can really change your life plans. Worse than that, an STD such as AIDS can take your life. STDs can also have long term effects on your sexual ability. Later in life, when you are married to the one you love, you may experience residual side effects, from a disease and/or medication from treatment, and may not be able to meet the needs of your partner.
For young ladies, it is possible that premarital sex and/or having multiple partners can lead to the development of cervical cancer. There are several risk factors that can change your chances of having cervical cancer. Risk factors do not, by no means, solely determine a female’s fate; however, they do impose a risk. According to the American Cancer Society, the most important risk factor for cervical cancer is infection by the human papilloma virus (HPV). This virus is a group of more than 150 related viruses. Some of these viruses cause a type of growth more commonly referred to as warts. HPV can be passed along by skin-to-skin contact. Any type of sexual activity, not just intercourse, can spread this virus. There are types of HPV that are considered high-risk because of their strong links to cancer. These links include cancer of the cervix, vulva, and vagina. HPV’s destruction is not limited to the female productive organs, but it can also cause penile cancer in males.
Even if a sexually active teenager manages to escape the grips of an STD; there is also pregnancy to be concerned with. There are obvious repercussions that result from teen pregnancy. The term of pregnancy forces a young man and a young lady to move quickly out of adolescence and into parenthood in just a short 9 months, given the pregnancy is discovered right away. This can rob young people of their teenage years and, more often than not, changes life courses. Several teenage parents never make it out of high school, college plans are often trashed because income becomes the priority. In many cases, the young men join the military in order to achieve quick stability results and all lives involved suffer a dramatic, unexpected change in pace and environment. Some decide that marriage is best and are tossed into commitment with someone they have not or do not connect with emotionally, psychologically, or spiritually. First full-term pregnancy at a young age is also a risk factor for developing cervical cancer. According to the American Cancer Society, women who were younger than 17 years when they had their first full-term pregnancy are almost 2 times more likely to get cervical cancer later in life than women who waited to get pregnant until they were 25 years or older.
You may think and may have even been taught that having sex before marriage is okay as long as you are having protected sex. The only contraceptive that is absolutely 100% guaranteed is abstaining from sex prior to marriage. All other techniques and products do not come with a 100% guarantee. Do not allow yourself to develop a false sense of security and think, “as long as I’m using protection, I’m ok.” Although sex at your age may seem like the greatest experience you have had or will have, I can testify to you that it is not. The reward, if you will, certainly does not outweigh the risk. It is really no different than playing Russian roulette- the more active you become, the greater the chances of the next turn being the fatal round! Even if you manage to squeak by becoming a statistic in the astounding 50 percentile; premarital sex and having multiple partners will affect your relationships for years to come. I speak on this matter with authority because of my own experience with making bad choices and failing to remain abstinent before marriage. It took me 14 years to be able to begin to attempt to have a normal, healthy, loving relationship. For those of you who wish to have children. I have failed mine in this area by not being able to provide them with and set for them a good example.
Spiritual Consequences
I have done my best to educate you on the moral and physical consequences of premarital sex; now I am going to preach to you a little bit!
God created and established the act of sex in marriage in order to form oneness and holy matrimony between a man and a woman. Sexual intercourse in a marriage allows the two (man and woman) to become one flesh, one connection, with one passion, one desire, one communion in each other with God through the marriage bed. Genesis 2:24 says, “For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and will be united to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” The reason we see so many broken marriages today is because of all the messing around we did before we were married and we are suffering from the emotional turmoil that results; or we do not get married for the right reasons, and the 2 (man and woman) continue to be 2 and never become 1. One of the most common side effects, if you will, from not becoming one is we never leave father and mother and we allow them to influence and sometimes make decisions about our marriages instead of going before God as one and seeking his counsel. There are so many marriages that are “playing house” instead of building a home and when one, or the other, or both grow up and get tired of “playing house”, they end up going in opposite directions because they were never 1 before God!
God has created you to be holy. What does holy mean? Holy means to be set apart for God. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 says, “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexual immoral person sins against his (or her) own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” First off, what is sexual immorality? Sexual immorality is sexual relations between two persons who are not married to one another; also known as fornication. If you are having sex and you are not married then you are committing the sin of sexual immorality. There are 2 major issues with this. For one, you are committing sin against your own body. You are rebelling against yourself! Secondly, you are defiling the temple of God! Your body is a dwelling place for the Holy Spirit which is the reason it is God’s temple. If you are having premarital sex, you are destroying God’s house. By abstaining from sexual activity before marriage, you are setting your body and yourself apart for God’s glory! 1Thessalonians 4:3 says, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality.”
After you meet the one that God has set aside for you, you connect on all levels- spiritually (most important), emotionally, and psychologically; you decide to get married and then give yourselves to one another. The key is that you have to connect spiritually. The bible tells us that it is not good to be spiritually unyoked. In other words, you have to share the same faith and beliefs. By doing this, you will be setting each other up to have a fruitful and rewarding marriage. If you go about it this way and save yourself for that special someone and become one flesh before God, you will have the upper hand on so many marriages. You will save yourself a number of marital issues. In your marriage, continue to refrain from and resist sexual immorality and keep your commitment to one another, no matter how tough things get; you will have a long and rewarding marriage. Hebrews 13:4 says, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” If you choose to be sexually active and engaged before getting married, you have already defiled the marriage bed and will carry a load of baggage into your marriage. If you can abstain from sex prior to marriage, you will enter into the marriage covenant with a clean slate!
Why Abstain from Premarital Sex?
You have now armed yourself with knowledge in regards to the consequences of having sex before marriage. You have learned how it can affect you physically, psychologically, emotionally, and most importantly, spiritually. Although there are many risks involved with having premarital sex and/or multiple partners, I pray that you will make the choice to abstain in your quest to please God. When pleasing God becomes your motive, the other parts of your life fall in sync with his word. You are precious in God’s sight and the decisions you make now matter. If you have already made the choice to be abstinent until marriage, God bless you! If you have not made that choice or have already been sexually involved, I want you to know that it is not too late to start abstaining today. All we have to do is repent and God is faithful enough to forgive us for our sins. I leave you with this final thought from 1Thessalonians 4:7- “For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness.”
Resources
Genesis 2:24; Exodus 22:16, Hebrews 13:4; 1Corinthains 6:18-20; 1Thessalonians 4:3; 1Thessalonians 4:7; Layman’s Bible Dictionary; www.cancer.org; www.myrel8.com; www.nlm.nih.gov; www.cancerresearchuk.org
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